If, like me, you weren’t familiar with the name Zayn Malik, odds are that changed on March 25, 2015. It was on this fateful day the 22-year-old singer announced his permanent departure from the titanic boyband One Direction. To say the internet was aghast at the news would be like saying Mount Everest is tall: a staggering understatement, the dimension and magnitude of which is nearly impossible to fathom – much like Malik’s 19 million followers on Twitter, or the 11.3 million on Instagram, or the 515 million-plus views (and counting) racked up by his debut solo music video “PILLOWTALK”. The crying emoji had never gotten so much play. Social media became a variegated trauma-rama of caps-locked teenage heartbreak.
“I AM LITERALLY SOBBING ZAYN WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS COME BACK PLEASE IT WILL NEVER EVER BE THE SAME”, tweeted someone named Kayla.
“VANESSA JUST CALLED ME CRYING IN SCHOOL,” screamed a citizen’s report from a girl called Dani. “SHES (sic) IN A BATHROOM STALL CRYING ABOUT HOW ZAYN LEFT SHE’S CALLING HER MOM TO PICK HER UP I FEEL BAD.”
Then there were the memes: Kim Kardashian’s ugly-cry face empress among them, accompanied by a chorus of girls sobbing alone in their bedrooms, surreptitiously filmed for Vine videos by siblings and parents. #AlwaysInOurHeartsZaynMalik was the number-one trending topic for a solid 24 hours, while a much more disturbing hashtag, #cut4zayn, heralded a trend of girls carving Malik’s name into their forearms with razorblades (much of the carnage turned out to be hoaxes, many of them embarrassingly rendered in ketchup, no less). It was even reported that law firms specialising in workplace rights were flooded with helpline calls asking for advice on requesting paid compassionate leave.
“Everybody was just crying,” recalls Malik, wincing and suppressing a laugh. “Yeah… Sorry about that.”
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